the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
