my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it hurts more in the daytime
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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