There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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