just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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