Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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