Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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