Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
