I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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