I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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