He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize