Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was like eating out sand paper
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
