Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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