My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize