She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I smell like Dick and happiness
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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