I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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