Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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