You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
