Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
