I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
two words...techno handjob
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
