I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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