$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
