They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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