So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
