don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
