To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
