I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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