if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
