remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
God I need to hump something, right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
