shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I wish there were birth control emojis
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
