Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
