Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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