I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize