Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
