Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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