There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
