If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
