It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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