For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize