So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
