We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
