so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
