...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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