he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
