I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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