after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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