she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she looked like the before picture.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
