We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
