The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
