My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
