It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is wine microwaveable?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
