Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
