It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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