D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
