Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
