I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
