You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
