Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
