Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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