just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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