we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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