Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
